Thanks for thinking of me...

Oh my goodness.

Is it February already?

Ladies, I have had you very much on my mind, especially the past few weeks.

Then I get email notices of your comments- and it's amazing that you were wondering about me too. I hope that you two are doing well- that all of the people I used to 'virtually' hang out with and blog with are doing well.

So many times I've wanted to find out how my old friends from the crochet blogosphere are doing. So many times I almost did- but I didn't want to have to tell you that 2008 was not a good year for me.

Long story short- the two biggest things of last year were- my dad almost died from cancer and had to have a complete laryngectomy (he never smoked- no one in the family smokes- the doctors are baffled) he's trying to adjust to his new life but it's not easy- and we've all been down a long road I know many of you have walked with people you love too.

But that's not all.

I've lost almost all of my vision.

...and the rest is going quickly. By last count, three sets of specialists at different hospitals (more than half a dozen surgeons) have debated if it can be saved. Long story short- the surgery should be straightforward but due to serious birth defects in my eyes- they don't know if a) the surgery will even help me and most of all b) if my eyes can stand up to it or will simply collapse.

I was due to have 'hail mary' surgery to try to save my sight in November but the surgeon pulled the plug on it at the last minute. Now I'm scheduled to see a surgeon who wasn't even taking new patients- but will take me because this other doctor asked her to and because my case is so 'unique'. I hate being 'unique'.

So I can't see very much of anything these days- can only read on the computer with things blown way up and soon if they can't fix my eyes will be able to see nothing but light- for however long that lasts.

As it is now I'm working with vision that is failing in only one eye and am legally blind in the other.

So.

I miss the charity work, so much.

I miss crocheting- so much. I know lots of people with visual impairments crochet but with the lack of feeling/dexterity in my left hand, it's not possible for me to feel my way as I go without looking.

Last weekend I actually put all my pattern books away- and I told my husband- if this really does happen and I do go blind- I'd want to have my old crochet buddies to have the books if they could use them.

Then I cried.

But I'm taking it a day at a time. I've been in denial a long time about how bad it's getting but when you get to the point where you can't see anything outside the house because of glare, day or night and have to be led- it gets hard to deny it any more. I don't feel sorry for myself- a lot of people have challenges to deal with- I'm just trying in my way to adjust.

So, that's what's new with me, please, tell me what all is new with you? I really wanna know.

My email address is still the same too by the way- you should be able to reach me there too.

big hugs to all...

Ro